But this year was different. I found an amazing yoga teacher who plays cool guitar and rock music and never takes himself too seriously. We laugh, stretch and twist our way to health and happiness. And when I leave, I always feel a million times better. Calm. Relaxed. Happy.
I think this past year has taught me so much about what my body can do, what truly brings me joy, what I need in my life and what I don't. I feel like I'm taking heavy bags of trash to the curb and throwing them far away and letting things go. Good bye!!
I quit two jobs, started a few new ones, tested countless recipes, went back to school and dropped things that just weren't working anymore. It's completely freeing saying, no thanks to things that I no longer want or need. I think the year on the mat, really allowed me to center myself and focus. What is it I want from this one precious life?
I'm not sure if it's my age, what I had been through in life or just that I feel like today I'm really living not just existing. For so many years, I was in jobs that didn't satisify me, not taking care of myself and totally feeling numb. I spent years teaching, in a classroom full of middle schoolers all while trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was loosing my parents. They were sick and dying. Again taking care of too many and not myself. I spent years in hospitals and urine scented nursing homes wondering what in Gods name was I doing here?! Realizing that I didn't want to end up sick, unhealthy and filled with cancer cells. It made me think about my own mortality and how I should take better care of myself.
By Friday night after a long week teaching, caring for everyone else, health took a back seat and I was drinking Diet Coke and polishing off a personal size pizza for one. And to the guys who would ask me out, I would say, 'take a hike..I'm busy' I've got plans with my TV and a pizza in my cozy little apartment.
Mentally and emotionally exhausted.
I'd rebound. I always loved exercise, that piece of the healthy living puzzle I had down. I enjoyed walking, running, the energy of the gym life. It soothed me. I met friends, enjoyed working out and loved group fitness classes. Some things never change.
However, today I feel like I have a much firmer grasp on what it means to live a healthy life. It's so much more than eating well and exercising, although those are two big pieces. It's relationships, creativity, spirituality, belonging to a loving and supportive community and having a close circle of friends and family. All together they can bring so much joy and healing into our world.
Today, I feel as though I've popped my head out of the sand. Taking care of myself first and others second, when I can, striking much more of a healthy balance. I've given myself time to slow down, heal, grieve, and learned to listen to what my thoughts and mind were telling me. I've parented myself and had the love and support of Joe to hold me up.
I am grateful for all the lessons I've learned these past few years and love sharing here with all of you.
Thanks so much for reading and have a gentle week.
Do you enjoy yoga? Have you ever giggled in class?!!?